Posts Tagged ‘Love Is…’

Wait a hot minute…

In Main, Marriage's Dirty Laundry, Random Fantasy Land, Relationship on September 18, 2009 at 1:45 pm

MG is bored.

Waits for shocked gasps to subside.

MG waited  many years an eternity a very very long time to get married to Him. And now that they’re married, He comes home at 7.30pm, goes to bed at 9.30pm, and leaves the house by 6.30am.  In those two hours that He is awake and with MG, he watches T.V., they cuddle pointlessly on the couch, eat a dinner prepared lovingly by a shirtless MG, and then He passes out again while MG works through her frustration at turning into an ordinary haus frau by making the kitchen spotless again.

You see, while waiting that very very long time to get married to Him, MG had had all sorts of fantasies of Him coming home to her, she serving Him a hot cooked meal, and then lying in His manly muscular arms on the couch afterwards, watching mindless T.V., while they enjoyed the very fact of their being together again, inhaling the scents of each other, affectionately rubbing skin against skin and doing all those sickening sugary syrupy things that estranged-lovers-that-meet-for-the-first-time-after-eons-of-separation do.

And now? Now that MG has this fantasy in real life?

Long dramatic sigh.

As Abraham Maslow could have predicted, MG, having actualized this need of having a loving man in her bed every night,  is bored with the Domestic Bliss theme, and needs something new.

And sadly for her moral fibre, MG only feels slightly guilty about feeling so, and two questions arise:

a) Where is this honeymoon period they speak of? Have we already exhausted our given quota in the dating part of our relationship?

2) Is this just the inevitable low after the high that was getting married?


The Way We R

In Main, Relationship on March 28, 2009 at 1:30 am

After our New Year’s eve festivities concluded this past January,  He and I returned to my parents’ house sweaty, tired, and otherwise generally exuberant (Shakira had given us quite the work out, not to mention getting us extremely horny, but that’s a story for another day).

A new year, right? What could be in store for us? Well, you know, besides our wedding, of course.  Perhaps we would bond more as a couple? Maybe our finally moving in together (after five long years of long-distance! Five! Years!) would bless us in more ways than just a double income and split utilities? Maybe even benefit beyond just joint tax returns and spouse-covered-for-free clauses in health insurance?

The possibilities, on that starry January 1st morning, were endless.

And how did He and I celebrate this auspiciousness?

Well by eating bananas, and popping open a can of soda/carton of yogurt drink, of course! Because it is important to celebrate your new life together by eating random starches with the person you’re getting married to at 3 in the morning!


In Main, Relationship on November 25, 2008 at 4:46 pm

Love is just intense phone sex, done well.

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